Hold My Hair While I Puke
"Some of my best friends are adopted" Yeah, just not ones like me. I don't think I'm affirming enough to hang with that gang.
I can just see it, me and five or six adoptive Mom's all throwing back shots at a bar. Talking about how wonderful our lives are. How they happily made so many sacrifices and went through such trails just to bring children like me a better life.
I'd buy a round and gush about how grateful I was. We'd tell adoption jokes and comment how the comic Family Circus is just exactly how it was when I was growing up.
Later one adoptive Mom would throw her arms around me and say "I don't know if I've told you this before, but I love you so much." Then another would come up and join the hug, before long we'd all be in a giant group hug.
About that time, that last Jager shot would get to me and we'd stumble to the bathroom. As I knelled on a dirty floor there would be a fight over who gets to hold my hair while I puked. One would say,
"I saved her from a terrible childhood."
Another would say,
"I protected her from herself."
Yet another,
"I made sure she felt whole and had no connection to her first family."
By this time, I'd be done, there would be puke in my hair, on my clothes, and in mu handbag.
None of the adoptive mothers would notice.
posted by Addie Pray at 5:43 PM
7 Comments:
Hi Addie....I am Lee and am interested in learning more about adoptees and mothers who have loss their children thru adoption. I am also a social worker who has placed primarily been involved in terminating the parental rights of parents with older children who have been abused/neglected. If my understanding is correct, many adoptees who blog where adopted out as infants. I do not know if that is what happened with you. I have found that even older children who have been adopted return to their natural parents/family upon reaching adulthood. I am also discovering this same need in donor conceived children...there is definitely a correlation with wanting to be and being connected to one's biological parents. So, I am learning from you and others of your needs. I appreciate your willingness to share and will comment and/or ask questions from time to time. I am interested in learning more of your story.
hi, I am joy and I don't even really know you but I love you
Most of the blogs I read are about the adoptees who have been affected and/or the moms. I have not read much, if anything, about dads. I would hope that they have thoughts and feelings about the children they had. I know I would...very much!
I read this and actually thought of my fellow adoptees. Helping adoptees search is rewarding but I tell you Addie there are days when this is all I hear:
"I am soooo grateful...blah blah blah"
"I want her to know she made the right decision...blah blah blah"
"I want you to know that I love my parents very much even though I'm searching.....blah blah blah"
My personal fav-"I just want to meet her so I can thank her for giving me up....blah blah BLAAAHHHHHHHH"
Your analogy is awesome! This is exactly how I feel sometimes- like I am puking and nobody's holding my hair!!!!
I must give credit where credit is due. the great and powerful Joy gave me the drunken birthmothers. It was just such a surreal situation, I had to do something with it.
No, the amoms, throwing back shots with adoptees!
Whoo Hooo, I thought they were Jello shots!!
Because after all, that is what we do, with our non adopted friends, no?
Yep, adoptive moms.
Like I said, I'm slow today.
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